Testimony: “I liked a perverse manipulator”

Mind & Health
Written by Mind & Health

Some individuals know extremely well how to achieve their ends. Pleasant in society but executioners with their spouse, they isolate them affectively while exploiting them financially. They are the perverse manipulators. In “I loved a pervert” published by Editions Eyrolles, three women tell their daily life with these narcissistic men and how they had the courage to revolt. One of them, Carole Richard, gave us her testimony.

“I met Jean the summer of my twenties when I went to work in a village with a group of friends. He was handsome and tanned. It was love at first sight. He had an atypical profile, different from what I had known before. He had a sad past, an unhappy childhood. He was angry with his brother, had a dispute with his mother. His mother had him very young, at 16 years old. I wanted to help him, I was there to listen to him. I had the savior syndrome. A few weeks after our meeting, I went to Paris to join him. We then sought training in the hotel industry. Him as a bartender, me in accounting. But quickly, I wanted to travel, to leave, him no. It did not please him. So I went back to school. As soon as I graduated, it quickly derailed. A ball has gradually settled at home. I wanted him to succeed, to find a job he liked but he did not want to. I did everything for him to get there, I gave him everything on a tray. I never gave up. I am the kind of girl who, when she challenges herself, goes all the way. In fact, he knew that I will succeed, he always knew that I will succeed.

We were married quickly but without any wedding photo taken, he did not want it. The perverts live for them. They do everything to keep us away from our family. I did not see my older brother for 20 years and my other brother for 5 years. My niece was sad not to spend Christmas with me anymore. He was without family and had no friends. My friends ? John criticized them unceasingly even if, in front of them, he preached the good word. He did not let me see them as I wanted. Without realizing it, I was no longer free of my actions. During a professional evening, I remember he was there waiting for me on the stoop, ready to catch me by the collar. If he had beaten me, I would not have tolerated him.

Even when I was pregnant, I drooled. He had made a living, settled in a system and the children came to disturb his little world. Me, I was on my diagram, him his. I missed divorce in 1992, but once married, in my family, we do not divorce like that. I received a strict education. I married my parents’ wishes and wanted to prove to them that I will succeed. That year, no holiday destination pleased him … as usual. I took an emergency lawyer. He became nice again and everything started again as if nothing had happened. One day, he gave me a present. He bought a painting that did not fit my taste. In fact, Jean did not listen to my desires. And then everything was erected against me. I was a bad mother. He never loved me. I loved him, but without return.

If he had not left me, I’ll be with him again. I was lucky he left us after Christmas. He could not stand the children who took more and more space in the house. He was supposed to return on December 31st but he did not come back. That night, I spent the evening with friends who tried to reason with me. I isolated myself, I cried and made my decision. The next day, after twenty-five years of marriage, I left a handrail at the family abandonment station. At the end, I decided to start a divorce procedure. I must have been relieved to have made that decision, but Jean kept blaming me. I wanted to divorce but I did not know why, I did not believe it. I consulted doctors, psychologists and one day I did a search on the Internet.

About the author

Mind & Health

Mind & Health

Mind & Health's mission is to disseminate information in the field of health and well-being. The information provided in this magazine is intended to improve and not to replace the relationship between the reader of the magazine and his doctor. The use of plants for therapeutic purposes can in no way substitute or be added to medical treatment current without the advice of a doctor.