It may seem that the word “indifference” evokes a certain coldness, even emotional egotism … and yet it is not so.
Understood in its context of personal growth, this word implies a great inner value that we should all learn to develop.
To be indifferent is not to get rid of everything that matters to us, by destroying the emotional ties or the personal relationships we have with the people we love.
To be indifferent is simply to know how to love, appreciate and invest in a more balanced and healthy way; it is to free oneself from those excesses which imprison us, which bind us. Who cut us off.
To free oneself emotionally is to give oneself the opportunity to live more honestly, in accordance with one’s needs.
It is therefore a question of giving oneself the possibility of growing up, of advancing knowingly, without harming anyone, and without anyone passing us, without our knowledge, the chains of passionate love, filial, even maternal.
Let’s learn how to put into practice the simple laws that govern indifference …
First law: you are responsible for yourself
No one is going to discard each of the stones you find on your way, will not breathe for you, nor will you propose to wear your pain or feel your pains.
You are the artifice of your own existence and of every step you take.
So, the first law that you must consider in order to be indifferent, is to become aware of the fact that you are fully responsible for yourself.
– Do not consider that your happiness depends on others. Do not think that to be happy in this life, it is essential to be in a relationship with someone who loves you, or to always enjoy the recognition of your family.
– If the barometer of your satisfaction and happiness depends on what others bring you, all you will get is more suffering.
Indeed, thinking so, you will have a hard time providing for all your needs.
– Cultivate your own happiness, feel responsible, mature, become aware of your decisions and their consequences. Make your choices for yourself and never allow your well-being to always depend on other hearts than yours.
Second law: live the present moment, accept, assume the reality
In this life, nothing is eternal, nothing remains, everything flows and resumes its way while weaving this natural order that we all struggle to assume.
Most often, only the past matters to us, which ends up weighing on the present.
These family disagreements, this trauma, this loss, this sentimental failure or this unresolved frustration, are anchors that pull us down, chaining our feet and hooking our souls.
It is a toxic and unhealthy dependence that prevents us from advancing freely, and in the fullest fullness.
Accept, assume, and even if it costs you, learn to forgive.
So you’ll feel freer, and you’ll focus on what really matters, the “here and now”, this present where your true luck lies. So, what are you waiting for?
Third Law: Promote your freedom and allow others to be free
Assume the fact that freedom is the most full, honest and healthy form of enjoying life, but also of understanding it in all its immensity.
Nevertheless, this does not prevent us from being able to bond with other people because it is also part of our personal growth. You have to know how to love and know how to receive love.
However, indifference implies that you must never feel responsible for the lives of others, just as others must not impose their principles, constraints, or personal chains on you.
This is where the real problems and suffering begin.
Intense addictions are never healthy. Think of those obsessive parents who overprotect their children and prevent them from being able to mature and advance confidently to explore the world.
In these cases, the need to “break away” is vital, as each of us must move beyond the limits of certainty to learn from the unexpected, and from the unknown.
Fourth law: do not deny the existence of losses
One comes back again to the same idea: to accept that in this life, nothing is eternal.
Life, relationships, and even material things eventually dissipate, like smoke escaping from an open window, or cool water slipping through our fingers.
People go away, children grow up, some friends end up not being, and some loves spin between your hot fingers …
All this is part of indifference, and one must learn to assume it to face it with more integrity, and with more force.
On the other hand, what will never change is your ability to love … start by loving yourself.