You have certainly heard about the concept of the inner child that we all keep in our hearts.
We know that it is essential to give him room to be happy. However, we spend very little time on him, even when he is seriously injured.
A sore that can sometimes affect us throughout our lives.
What happened to our inner child being hurt? At what point in our lives was this violence that marked us forever?
And above all, is it possible to heal his wounds permanently?
The event that hurt our inner child
What happens when our inner child has been injured at some point in our childhood and continues to influence our actions as accomplished men and women?
Many theories try to explain this situation and one of them is known as the “interruption event”.
This interruption event is a fact that has branded us, as the popular saying goes, and which has forged our personality.
This is how it works: since our birth, we live in a “comfortable continuity”, which allows us to survive and brings us everything we need (food, tenderness, shelter, etc.).
However, our life is forever shattered by a terrible event that interrupts this comfortable continuity.
In most cases, this event is associated with a very painful emotion, such as the death of a loved one, intense fear, separation from our parents, contempt, etc.
But it can also be something that seems insignificant, like a word, an attitude or a decision.
What are the injuries that affect our inner child?
A distant father, a perfectionist mother, an authoritarian grandfather, a disunited family.
Our inner child may be hurt by something that tarnishes his childhood.
It carries with it the traumas of our past and transforms them into patterns or habits that will be forever borne by the adult we have become.
To be able to enjoy good emotional health, it is important to help our inner child to heal his wounds.
Each of them must be treated with total devotion and responsibility.
There is no question of putting a bandage where we need a real act of surgery, or neglecting a symptom that has become chronic.
Can we heal our inner child?
To begin the “treatment”, it is important that we are aware that we are facing a wounded child and that we must first become his friend so that he can confide in us.
A film perfectly illustrates this situation: it is about Jack, in which the principal actor, Robin Williams, finds himself in the skin of a child who ages four times faster than the others.
In one scene of this feature film, Jack hides in a game of his school’s park. His mistress, played by Jennifer López, tries to help him out of there.
To achieve this, she brings him red candies, which are his favorite.
In this way, the child begins to trust him and ends up not wanting to hide anymore, giving the benevolent adult the opportunity to try to appease what makes him so sad.
We must proceed in the same way with our injured inner child. In order for him to trust the adult we have become, we must offer him what he needs.
We must not scream, annoy or threaten. If we act in this way, we will only enlarge the wound that already exists.
If this plague is due to the lack of tenderness of our parents, we must treat our inner child with all the love of the world.
If it has been ignored for too long, prove it is the most important thing, give it time and make it a priority.
Little by little, the child will come out of his hiding place and confide in you. Do not miss this opportunity.
Talk to him patiently, tell him how you feel about his suffering and that you only want him well.
Ask him how he is doing, how you could make him happy, what he needs so that you both can reach your common goal.
Offer him activities such as walking, the beach or cinema.
It’s about integrating it back into your life, giving it the opportunity to enjoy everything you’ve built despite the wounds of the past.
Give him a voice, get him involved in your decisions and let him have fun. Do it together.