Whatever the age at which one loses one’s parents, the shock is no less great. We can be a responsible adult, become a parent ourselves, we always remain in the depths of us a child who needs to be protected by his parents. So when one of them disappears, we feel left to ourselves. The pain and the feeling of loneliness are all the more poignant because they are irremediable.
Between talking about this death and living it, there is a world
Nothing prepares us for death, let alone that of his parents. Death is incomprehensible to us.
We experience a death differently if it occurs after a long illness or if it is sustained, as after an accident or a murder. In these latter cases, the shock of surprise adds to the pain of loss.
Another factor is the lapse of time between the death of both parents. If it is short, the mourning will be difficult. If it is long, we are more prepared, like something inevitable.
In any case, the goodbye is a tear. Because with his parents, millions of memories go away. These are words, smells, gestures, kisses and caresses. They are the ones who created you, physically and psychologically.
When they are here and there
We knew that it would happen one day, comes the moment when we see our parent in his coffin, still and rigid body. He’s still here, but already gone. It is then that we understand that everything is finished. And that we remember the living, his reactions and opinions that we did not understand then but for which, suddenly, we feel indulgence.
It is also the moment of remorse and regrets, even guilt. We must fight against this feeling, do not let it envelop us, because it only adds to our sorrow. In life, the time of farewells is often when we forgive. It must be the same at this time. We must forgive this parent and forgive ourselves.
Enjoy them while they are there
The death of his parents is very different from that of other people, even those we loved deeply. Because, at that moment, we feel abandoned. Our parents are the first people we loved. Although we have had many conflicts with them, we are still dependent on them, whether we like it or not.
When they disappear, we are deprived of their protection. You may know people who have been away from their parents for one reason or another: you may have found it difficult to live with the “weight” of that absence.
The lesson of all this is that you must realize that your parents will disappear one day or another and that it is therefore essential to enjoy it while they are there.